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cavemonster

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Figure I should actually attempt to use my journal this time around.

I started this new year fairly positive.  Usually, when New Years rolls around, its just another day, I just need to write a new date on my checks.  This year though.  It felt good for a few reasons:

1) I've lost a lot of weight in the last quarter of 2012 (410lbs down to 340lbs, but I gained about 15 back during the holidays), and I plan on only losing more this year.  Now that all the delicious holiday food is gone.  My weight goal is under 300lbs.  I never thought I could actually lose weight, but I did and I'm going to keep doing it.

2) In relation to losing weight, I've started running (Couch to 5K if you're interested, it seriously works).  I'm not going to rush it, but I want to be running 5k comfortably by the summer.  Then I plan on working towards 10k.  I never thought I'd do this, but I did and I'm going to keep doing it.

3) I have been in the biggest burnout since I finished my classes at SCAD (turns out doing 8 years of art school back to back  can sometimes have some detrimental effects on some people) and in the past year and slowly been clawing my way out of this lack of inspiration and motivation.  I won't lie that I was worried if I would never pick up a pencil again sometimes, but I did it and dammit, I'm going to keep doing it.

4) Anyone that knows me, knows that I tend to have problems focusing on something.  I would come up with ideas, show off some stuff regarding it.  People would say "Whoa! That sounds cool!" and I'm mess around with it a bit more, then get scared/bored and just repeat the process.  I wrote a whole thesis on this type of artistic fear and I'm not going to let this rule me anymore.  I'm going to look through my old ideas that I really still feel passionate about, and I'm going to focus on it.  You can't finish something without focus.  I have trouble doing this, but I'm going to do it....then keep doing it on the next project.  I went to school to learn about comics, and its time to draw some friggin' comics.

4a) In that same regard, I also want to start using my own craft to take commissions.  I want to create thing for people.  I'm a salesman at heart, and I won't lie, despite some of the frustrating things people deal with in any business, I love a happy customer.  I like making people happy (If I can make some money, awesome).  So keep an eye out here in the future, I may take my hand at.  And if its awesome, I'll keep doing it.

This year, something just feels different.  I haven't felt this way in a long time.  I joked on my facebook wall when I turned 30 on the 4th "Ding! Finally hit level 30. Time to respec my build."  I kept thinking about that, but I think that I really mean it.  I need to change some things about myself, and I'm going to do it.
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New Year, New Age, New Outlook by cavemonster, journal